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We are now on a rota system so each day is unpredictable. For now, the paeds therapy teams are waiting to be redeployed onto the acute adult wards to help clear beds (it’s an assembly line operation; staff are expected to go off sick in high numbers so more staff need to be ready-to-go and so forth). In the meanwhile, we are tidying up the urgent caseloads to make sure high-risk kids are well-equipped until we can see them again. Right now, I am lucky to be able to work from home (adhoc) and to be on annual leave for a couple of days, so I hate to think about what it’s like for the staff currently on the ITUs and covid pods- having to choose between who gets a ventilator and who doesn’t/dies. Or the fact that there isn’t enough and adequate PPE for frontline staff. Or that patients are having to take their final breaths alone because their families are not allowed to be with them. And this is not even the peak.

For years, the NHS has been underfunded and overburdened. Abused and misused. Disrespected and exhausted. It has affected patients and staff immensely with many leaving to work or be treated in the private sector, and many staff leaving their careers completely. It has taken a pandemic for the world to really realise this, yet there is no guarantee for a better future given the government’s history of empty promises.

It has been overwhelming to see the all the appreciation recently shown for the NHS.  And I have always felt protective and in awe of its magic and gale, and anyone who is a part of it must feel the same way.  It just seems as though it’s on its final lap. Our NHS could never fail us, even during a time like this, but the consequences will be immense. After this, we just can’t afford anything else other than change. #covid19diary

 

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I know that many fellow AHPs (Allied Health Professionals) feel the same way as I do – guilty that we’re not doctors or nurses but are still being praised by the world, and at the same time shrugging that feeling off because we know that the NHS would not be the same without us.

“Without Occupational Therapists (OTs), our NHS inpatient system simply wouldn’t work. What many of the public aren’t aware of is the huge amount of work that goes in behind the scenes to get a patient discharged from hospital, ensuring that they have the necessary equipment, support and resources to live and rehab safely at home. Many people also do not know about the role that community OTs play in preventing hospital admissions and minimising burden to the wards. OTs also play many other extremely valuable roles in the hospital, such as providing cognitive rehabilitation, hand therapy, and helping people to get back to independent living after illness or injury.

During the current Covid-19 situation, OTs are having to be flexible and adapt their roles and input in response to the changing needs of the Trusts they are working in. Our amazing Occupational Therapists are working tirelessly trying to get as many patients safely out of the hospital as possible – both to protect those patients from the virus, and to make space for the growing number of patients coming in that need our help” – taken from ‘AHPs – on the frontline’ via facebook.

Paramedics, speech and language therapists, dietitians, physiotherapists and many other professionals play an equally vital role in keeping the healthcare system running. AHPs are the third largest workforce in the NHS but it will continue to take some time to step away from the shadows of nurses and doctors, to champion our roles and to invite a new generation of staff into this sector. So I need to start by shrugging off the imposter syndrome (especially during this time) and embrace the fact that we do improve lives. The incredible doctors and nurses are the beating heart of the NHS, but heck, we’re the limbs that keep it running.

#covid19diary

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It continues to feel eerie walking to work when this path is usually bustling. I’m also starting to feel very anxious being at work, especially when the rest of the world is retracting and staying at home. Social media isn’t helping but I just can’t seem to keep away from the headlines. I am however grateful for all the updates that the Trust is issuing via email…makes me feel in the know because it’s all just overwhelming. ‘Critical incident’ status was declared at the hospital not too long ago, but the media are quick to make it sound more scary than it is. An ‘incident’ needs to be declared for urgent action to take place – in this case, beds had run out so they needed to relocate patients asap. Also, NPH is massive and patients have high cardiovascular and renal disease burden so it is unhelpful for news outlets to ineptly compare deaths between trusts. In similar news, the UK is now in lockdown #covid19diary

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A Friday in mid-march. Back to work after taking sick leave and so grateful that the cough has settled. We spent the day packing up the entire paeds unit for it to urgently be replaced for ambulatory care. Doused warm liquids throughout the shift to make sure the dust wouldn’t cause a relapse. Nothing could be left behind…and it’s a massive space. 0% clinical, 100% exhausting and 120% nostalgia from digging up old gems. #covid19diary

Top Cov moments (in no particular order and definitely not exhaustive)

When my fam left me at the entrance of Quadrant Halls and I just burst into tears like what…I was really gonna miss them ??? Totally didn’t care about the 50 pre-drinkers also present.

FRESHERS WEEK – wandering around the campus, our main aim towards the freebies. Then collecting dominos free pizza.

My first ever night in Cov, lying in my new bed with my old sheets – thinking about how broke I would be but I fell asleep with a smile cos ohmy the excitement was REAL.

First halls meeting, sat opposite a cute and extremely tall guy with a fro and we kept glancing at eachother (out of awkwardness, not anything else). He turned out to be my most consistent crush during first yr.

Seeing Munira (who will be featured in most of these) for the first time in Cov in the Hub and greeting eachother with a big hug. Before that particular moment, I was a qualified loner.

When my azaan alarm went off on one and I couldn’t stop it. A few minutes later my neighbour knocked on my room door. Her name was Khadija, a shy and pretty hijabi. I invited her in and learnt she was also an OT student, also from Gujarat and also lost as to which direction qiblo was. We figured it out.

Skai’s 21st…our first ‘night out’. Ever. Wild. Denzel and Pascal. Fat dancing man. Blue flashing lights. Then walking home at 2am, i remember my legs were aching. Got home and mun and I voicenoted eachother reflecting on the above. Then made up a ghusl in attempt to wash away the sins.
^we were the only ones actually high on life tho.

Exploring far gosford st and then chilling in Lanchester library for the first time with munira, one could say that this is where out banter began.

Had lunch with a girl called Yasmin (who im pretty sure hated me from day 1 so the feelings were quietly reciprocated) and went to the pizza station in the hub. I asked for half a pizza (to save money ofc). I walked away with my order before realising he gave me a full one so I ran back to return it but he insisted. That kindness had my grin reaching the arctic.

I signed up for the uni gym (free as part of my perks) and booked an awkwardly timed induction right after one of my lectures which meant I had to run home to change.
Enter PT Cyrus and several awkwardly hilarious gym trips thereafter.

My first class – so wanted to impress my teacher (wish I knew that it wouldn’t make a difference, guess I was always too smart to be a teachers pet and ultimately did not care for it). Wrote a reflection on my first day when I got home.

Dancing to all sorts of music (mainly Djerba tunes since we were still in 2014) in my little quadrant box room, frequently glancing at myself in the badly lit mirror above my small sink.

My unwanted stalker – Mr Nigerian business student.

Receiving the text of my job offer from Sainsburys and realising I would be able to afford living out for myself.

Opening my first ever assignment result in my Sainsburys locker room…72% BRAP.

Failing my first placement…the best thing to have happened in hindsight.

Being able to deceive everyone into thinking that I wasn’t nervous during presentations. Truth is I was, but I liked the thrill and had my own tactics on successfully doing them

Being called for a meeting with the course DIRECTOR due to my poor attendence. And the meeting turning into a wonderful and pleasant therapy session which kicked me onto the right path again.

Doing a role play assignment where a drama student acts as a patient and we need to showcase our interpersonal skills. The drama student I got was a guy who was really chill and made it easy for me by talking a lot so I had a lot to go with. Then found out that he did that with most of the girls and was the complete opposite with the guys 😂😂 smooth guy.

Walking to uni with Qasim, a really nice guy friend with a very basic but cute sense of humour, and him saying he admired how smart I am. I had to assure him i wasnt smart but knew how to see through the system. We helped eachother loads through uni.

Applying and being one of three AHP students chosen for the RHIVA project😭

Being able to WALK to uni and everywhere else so easily, so convenient.

Chilling w my sainsburys colleagues in the bakery; bantering and debating about religion, food, family and work.

Getting on the wrong train to markaz… pretty sure we could’ve ended up in Wales.

Having to sit on tomato tins at markaz.

So on our way back to the train station from markaz we had to pass a rail crossing. I was genuinely very scared of it even though the barriers are up and it’s safe to do so. I didn’t hide my reserve but it was at this moment I realised that I can be a right wuss and that munira is totes the risk-taker (in my defence, I’m a lot more wild these days).

Adopting our plants. I always felt like the super excited mother and munira was the go-along-with-it father. But then we killed them.

Baby sitting muniras plants when she was off visiting London and blogging about it on her munsunflowers blog.

Journeying home with my plant and it not making it back alive.

Exchanging gifts with munira.

Watching Grey’s weekly and FAT CHANCE OMG

Triggering Sky with one word – ‘B&Q’.

Losing a butt tonne of weight in late 2014 with my frequent gym sessions and clean eating. Then returned home for the first time 3 months later, my family were shook lol. I was gassed.

Visiting Munira at her flat for the first time and meeting her weird housemates. Then helping her make those rice/cheese balls.

Crashing at Victoria/munira crashing at Quadrant

Househunting for second yr. Went to a boys house…totally unkempt and practically lost my WEED virginity nd probably got high because of the insanely strong and disgusting smells.

Settling for Gulson road and us getting the rooms we wanted.

PiAnO tILeS

Running up my stairs thinking I saw a giant moth but something divine told me to seek out munira and Sky. A baby mouse was discovered.

The mice infestation that followed and manz at Bluewood being absolute pricks about it and our lawnmower situation -.-

Every moment in our living room at Gulson Rd with munira and sky (esther, rohma, saral and esther’s visiting mate).
Singing along to songs (notably Adele’s Hello and Drake’s OneDance), eating, doing dubsmashes, chattin absolute shite.

Me cooking, munira cleaning.

Doing and receiving our Tesco deliveries.

That obsession with buzzfeed quizzes.

Frequently exploring Coventry city centre. Walking loads.

Watching Blackfish amongst many other docs with munira (she made the popcorn).

Trying to devise a plan for ‘the perfect murder’ after watching one of the murder docs.

Absolutely failing to make half-decent kalamro and almost contracting diabetes after one spoon of the final result.

Only having the sense to make gol nu pani at the end of our time in Gulson rd and regretting all the missed opportunities to do so earlier.

Our failed attempt to make saurkraut (it molded). And then munira later enlightening me with the fact that saurkraut is not halal.

me burning popcorn. twice.

Drake being in love with me.

Sky’s mediterranean pie and remaking it when salu visited.

Trip to blue banana.

Trips to LiDl and IKeA.

When I fell down the stairs…everyone heard the thump. I thought they knew it was me so I declared it on WhatsApp but it turned out no one knew and my housemates reacted how housemates would lol.

One of our housemates unexpectedly losing her marbles over PROPOSED housekeeping rules. Then dragging us on her social media and doing petty things around the house 👀👀👀

Pre-drinks being held at Gulson Rd and having STRANGERS in our SpAcE. Horrifying. Intriguing. Totes out of my comfort zone. Stayed up in my room until they migrated to JJs. Then being unable to pick up the alcohol bottles left behind so waiting for Sky to do it.

My mental health placement in Luton – all of it. Playing table tennis with some of the guys…probably my funniest patient-related moment.

Realising I was guaranteed registration as an OT after finishing my case based oral exam (my last undergrad assignment ever which had gone undeniably well) and walking around the hospital complex with a grin and gratitude while my assessors deliberated my result.

Speaking casually to a patient on the PICU while waiting for the final result. He told me I’d do great.

Returning to the office to be told my result of the case based oral exam – a 95%. The highest grade I got and the highest grade she had given out in her whole career.

Staying with Gabby and learning but never using her lifestyle tips (she was goals).

Uhm every moment in Cov Sports and Leisure centre. Crazy affordable, SPA INCLUDED as well as classes.

Swimming swimming swimming swimming swimming swimming swimming swimming swimming swimming swimming swimming
(spectating swimming included)

That kettlebell class which did all of our limbs dirty but had me feeling peng at the same time.

The bodypump classes – superrrr funnnnm
The LBT classes – lunges were nasty.

Nandos and Creams dates with mun and sky

Our first meal out was at Wagamamas for Esther’s bday. First time trying tofu, disappointment…should’ve gone with the pad thai.

Commuting from London to Cov during final year – really enjoyed those virgin train journeys. And grabbing a nice meal-to-go for the return London Midland journeys.

My weekly meet up with munira on Tuesdays from 2 to 6 until my train time, where we’d walk and explore, have dinner etc.

My pulmomary rehab classes that ran all tuesdays. So fun. Using the brain juice needed to appraise all those studies. PBL with the rest of the class and Dr Louise Sewell was goals in every way. Definition of ‘learning is fun’.

Dancing around in my larger Gulson Road room (fewer djrrbs tunes at this point, more of TheWeeknd).

Abba and mubs helping me move into my Gulson rd room. abba crashing on my bed using my pink flower blanky😂

Going to my first spoken word night with munira and feeling comfortable to tell her im not rlly feeling it nd leaving early. It was too deep and I didn’t understand a lot of it. To this date she remains non-judgemental.

Living the placement life in Oxford, beautiful little home with Peronel Barnes from shareroom, literally a 5 minute walk from John Radcliffe Hospital.

Catching eyes and falling briefly in love with a ?neuro?surgeon after we were looking at the same patient notes 😭 I still remember it, idc. A girl can dream.

Seeing John Radcliffe hospital for the first time and later being there 💚

All my wonderful supporters at Milton Keynes Wheelchair Service. Hit it off with them all, even with the awkwardness with socially weird Nathan and socially inappropriate John. Loved how much Sam and Madeha and Jackie hyped me.

Being invited to my educator’s (Jackie) home for dinner. Meeting her adorable children and playing piano with her youngest boy (William).

Having fatherly advice sessions with Ray (the onsite ambulance transport manager). I loved him and would miss him the most.

All my bus journeys around milton keynes and to the massive Asda where I got all my dinners from.

Sharing the clean house on Milton Keynes hospital complex with some graduate entry medical students from Oxford University. One was James Duggan who was gay and reaaaallllyy nice. He was so curious about OT and made me feel better about being an OT by just talking to him.
Then I had dinner with an asian girl (forgotten her name). She exposed me to some of the dirty admissions tricks of Oxf uni.

Away days with Luton’s PICU team. Having food and talking about cases and people’s feelings. Everyone felt like they could be open and honest and it made me realise how important and kind it is to look after staff.

Neil Lad – head nurse for the mental health unit. Thought he was so cool and had it together.

That mental health placement made me realise how attractive male nurses can be.

The psych consultant getting punched im the face by a patient…what a mess. This one deserves a whole blog post itself lol.

Whenever my fam visited me at university.

Dissertation – probz the worst academic period of my life. House was under construction and internet was unreliable. Had to work around the clock which meant sleepless nights. Stayed up in the hollow, saw-dusty box room with only a sheet to cover me while I typed away amidst sheer stress. I asked diane about any b&bs in Cov and she offered me to stay with her for a little less than a week. I would help her with her disso in return. Then I stayed with munira in her cute studio apartment.

Returning back to Cov to hang with munira for a few days while she finished her final assignments and exams. Eating dumplings.

Doing my 327OT movie, getting all creative and the end result was exactly what I wanted – sAtIsFaCtIoN.

2014 - 1

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Open to watch me embarrass myself –

Perched with her torso compressed,

Hand supports her heavy head

Old ballads racing through her mind palace

No, not a palace. maybe a moot hall

plagued with hauntings of a bold and confident she

 

Contrasted with her stuttering, crying self –

A self that failed her that night

When betrayal became an actual feeling

And sleep just became an escape

 

And then she quickly shakes it off. Routine.

Knowing she is far too clever to be fooled by

·         Hypocrisy

·         Lies

·         Texts masked with pathetic obligation

·         Effortless means to keep secrets

 

…to name a few

 

And then she smirks at the idea of boy-related heart break

apparently being worse than the hurt that falsity of girl-friends can bring…

Brought.

Six years but
g
lad it’s over.